Getting What You Want

January 20th, 2014   •   Comments Off on Getting What You Want   

Mediation is problem-solving. Both sides want something, and they disagree about it. As a Domestic Relations Mediator, I’m the neutral person to help find a solution.

Both sides have strong feelings about what they want, how they were wronged, and why it isn’t fair if they don’t get it. Both sides often find it mandatory to speak it to the other person.

Even if it’s true, it’s not helpful.

Feelings matter. There are valid reasons for hurt and anger. However, the ability to regulate our emotions is directly proportional to success in getting what we want.

Not only do emotions keep us from thinking clearly, but they trigger emotional reactions in the other person. They keep relationships destructive rather than constructive.

Getting what you want is often about making the best out of a less-than-the-best situation.