October 12th, 2015   •   3 comments   

People hurt us. We trusted them. We thought they were for us. They weren’t.

Intentional or not, they hurt us. They may not know we know. Maybe they are jerks. Maybe they were in a tough place, and their choices sucked. Regardless of explanations, there is no excuse.

There are at least 2 reasons to heal. Because hurt people hurt people, healing lessens the chance we’ll hurt others. The other motive is to feel better.

To live in the pain continues to give them power over us. We don’t have to let their crap control us. Screw that. Unplug from them.

I’m not endorsing an approach that ignores, dismisses, or thinks this is a one-time process often heard as “I’m over that. It’s in the past.” This is also not about the concept of forgiveness either; even wishing someone well does not remove the hurt.

It is a continuing process of acceptance. It happened. Feel the hurt again and again as it comes. Accept that it happened. It sucked. We do not have to live haunted by it.

Live out of love, not out of hurt. Treat others like they matter, and treat yourself the same way.