In relationship, boundaries are critical. They demonstrate self-awareness about what you can control, who you are responsible to, what you are responsible for, how much to say, when to leave, etc.
If you have problems with boundaries, you don’t learn them instantly. Some of the most dangerous people are those who think they have boundaries but they are actually boundary-less. They draw lines in the sand. They think boundaries are a science.
They say, or more often shout, things like:
When you don’t have boundaries, it is important in the beginning to be firm. After you gain confidence in your ability to recognize your boundaries, you can loosen your grip. People who want you to do things their way may be angry, or withdraw, or ask you to explain when you already made your position clear.
Having boundaries is an art. They may be rigid or changing. They may be black & white one day and shades of gray the next. Some will love it and others will hate it.
Boundaries are not about perfection. Be self-aware. Find a good friend who will tell you what you don’t want to hear. Adjust as needed. Live a life of art.