Say What?

As a mediator and counselor, people tell me stories. I often find myself trying to make sense of what they’re saying.

People lie. We do it to get what we want. Another reason is to protect ourselves or others from the shame of what we or they have done. Those are conscious lies. We all do it at some level.

People distort conclusions about reality. We view things so others look bad and we look good, or in ways so others look good and we look bad, or in ways so others look bad and we look worse. Those are normally unconscious lies. We all do it at some level.

Lies often sound believable in our head. When they get spoken, things seem sketchy because they are! It’s the explanation for changing our story; we’re looking for a more believable lie.

When we distort reality, it also sounds believable in our head. Distorted reality is dangerous because we are telling ourselves lies.

It’s important to get it out of the head where it can be recognized as the crap that it is.

Talk to someone who is worthy of trust. Write it out. Use paper rather than electronics so your words don’t scroll out of view. Read it out loud to yourself. Wait 24 hours, and repeat as needed.