I’m Sorry

Apologizing is about the person who was wronged. It’s about their feelings.

Helpful apology: “I’m sorry. You matter enough to not be treated like that. I’m very sorry.”

Apologizing is not about you. It’s not about your feelings. Don’t ask them to forgive you. Don’t give an explanation for your behavior in the midst of apologizing. Don’t include the word “but” in an apology – ever.

When someone apologizes to you, be a gracious recipient. It’s simple, but it’s not easy to say, “I’m sorry.”

Helpful reply to an apology: “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

Not-helpful reply, that may include any variation of these classic phrases:

• “You’re always sorry. Actions speak louder than words.”
• “Whatever.”
• “Why do you do that?”

If any of those slip out, it’s your turn in the hot seat.

Humility helps.