Tolerance or Acceptance

June 19th, 2012   •   Comments Off on Tolerance or Acceptance   

People confuse acceptance with tolerance. They are not the same.

Accept means to receive willingly. I can accept someone without agreeing, understanding, or celebrating their behavior. It doesn’t mean being a doormat or trying to ignore the behavior.

Tolerate means to bear or to endure. Tolerance is surely better than intolerance. However, tolerance is not helpful for positive relationships.

Tolerance = Judgment

Acceptance = Love

“I tolerate you” or “I love you” are the options.

If I’m offering someone tolerance, I don’t like to admit it. I prefer to convince myself that I’m offering them love, so I twist it all up with explanations and rationalizations. There we go, now I can feel better about me!

In the end, it’s still tolerance.

Being transparent and accepting myself is the pathway to offering the same to others.