People confuse acceptance with tolerance. They are not the same.
Accept means to receive willingly. I can accept someone without agreeing, understanding, or celebrating their behavior. It doesn’t mean being a doormat or trying to ignore the behavior.
Tolerate means to bear or to endure. Tolerance is surely better than intolerance. However, tolerance is not helpful for positive relationships.
Tolerance = Judgment
Acceptance = Love
“I tolerate you” or “I love you” are the options.
If I’m offering someone tolerance, I don’t like to admit it. I prefer to convince myself that I’m offering them love, so I twist it all up with explanations and rationalizations. There we go, now I can feel better about me!
In the end, it’s still tolerance.
Being transparent and accepting myself is the pathway to offering the same to others.