In conversation and relationships, there’s a dance. For every movement, there’s a response. One person may appear to be leading, but the reality is both people respond to the movements of one another.
Sometimes it turns into a dance marathon, both are exhausted and in pain, but it’s the only dance routine they know. They become so accustomed to it, they could do it in their sleep, and they often don’t know how to end it.
Think of how it looks like if only one person of a dancing couple starts moving to a new rythym. The person who didn’t initiate the change may work hard to get their partner back into the old routine, they may continue their part alone, or they may walk off the dance floor.
Regardless of what happens, the dance has already been interruped; it’s already changed if even temporarily.
Regardless of whether you initiate or resist change, it’s difficult to continue dancing alone to different rythyms. That’s true for both partners.
Change can be awkward and very uncomfortable. However, the dance will eventually change or the dance will stop.
If one person changes, the relationship will not be the same. Something will change. It might not be the change you hoped for, but it will be different.
You can’t change another person, but you can change how the relationship, the dance, looks.